Hey friends,
So, my little dog Kasey has been by my side through a lot the last few years. Multiple cross country moves, the loss of my spouse ( her heart person  ), regaining her heart person in my former spouses son, etc.  She integrated well into the family pack when we arrived here last fall but last night a serious altercation ensued between her and another dog here. I have her with me tonight for the first time in like 6 months and she's stressed over it.  I don't know how to reassure her and it makes me sad.

Calm.  This is my mantra.  It works for me, sporadically and I guess that's the best to hope for! I seriously feel the need to fulfill so much for so many people I love.

My sweet old man loves his outdoor walks!

April 2017

Wow.  This is still here and christ, it's so much easier than Medium.  I'm just me,  nothing to see here.

But, this afternoon i had an online conversation with an old (7 years) friend.  She has horrendous health issues, some of which she's explained, some she has not.  I've tried to learn her various challenges, made notes, remembered what to remember and tonight it wasnt enough.  

I (perhaps mistakenly) offered my perception of her anxiety level, which I felt was high.

I wanted her to see that someone who loved her saw an escalation in her anxiety level. Those around her saw differently.

Evidently I wasted my energy.  Sad about my friend. I'm awake and worried.  Not a great post but whatever. I care and my fiber related stuff can follow if anyone is still interested 

So...I saw today a post where it says that writing for 2 minutes a day about a positive experience in the last 24 hours can increase happiness dramatically.  Seems like it's worth a shot.

Today I washed my incredibly filthy car, thanks to my landlady reassuring me that it was ok to use the water here for something like that.  I also did some gardening..repotted a few things, got a baby violet plant ready to take to a friend at work, checked the tomato and basil and rosemary.  Started a pot of pasta sauce for a casserole for the week.  Little things but such steps forward to me.

I also took my dog, Kasey for a long walk.  She has plenty of room here to run outside but she so enjoys different smells and paths.  She is a joy.  She is currently outside with me here and intent on the baby kittens just beyond her sight in the garage.

I enjoyed taking the time to groom the cats-they give me so much joy also!  All in all, it's been a  nice, relaxing 2 days off of work and I feel ready to face the week tomorrow!

Namaste'!

So...again a long time, blog.

I'm sitting outside in glorious Oregon at my home.  It's tiny, perfect and I love it.

That said, life hasn't been so perfect.  We moved here last June, got legally married in August, found this place in December.  It's 32 miles one way from work but a gorgeous drive every day.  I don't mind it.

In mid April, things were great.  Loved our home, I got hired full time at Lowe's instead of seasonal, things were balancing. Then on April 29, Jack (Maureen) left me suddenly and without warning.  It appears for someone else..she's told me she is seeing someone although I didn't ask who.  I guess it really doesn't matter, you know?

So life for me right now is about finding balance.  Getting ok in my own skin, shedding the pounds of guilt I've managed to acquire in my 11 year relationship/marriage.  Learning to live alone again and budget and get up every day in spite of the hurt and anger and keep moving forward.

It's not easy.

Parting

I've been working for Kroger (store 410) for 4 1/2 years.  This week is my last week there and I have been thinking a lot about how much time one spends at work and how miserable it must be to actively dislike your job or coworkers.  I've been lucky.

Generally speaking, I don't care for retail.  My face shows incredulous instantly no matter how hard I try and there are just too many incredulous moments when dealing with the public.  I have stumbled through though and for the last 2 years have been the store receiver, interacting with vendors and the whole other world that exists behind the front end.

I have gotten to know so many people I wouldn't have known otherwise.  The personalities are huge and funny and sometimes infuriating but I wouldn't have missed it. 

There was the time the milk delivery person arrived so early that he went to bed in his truck cab.  One of my coworkers went to wake him at 6 and he jumped up-buck naked.  To this day I can't look at the guy without laughing.  My coworker was so indignant and grumbled all day about things swingin' in the wind. 

The time I kept seeing something in my peripheral, so many times that I questioned my health only to realize a large bird had made it's way inside.

The all around job guy that sings Kroger radio like a boss, changing the lyrics to make Kroger the bad guy, or the good guy or the discarded lover.  He's also a Redskins fan and we're a rare breed these days.

The time they put a mouse trap in my desk..the countless times they've put something in my reclaim bin deliberately upside down and open. 

All of the crazy makes me sad to leave it tomorrow.  I'm excited for our move but wish I were keeping my work family.  I'll miss them a lot.